Posts Tagged ‘entertainment’

CC – Close Corporation or Corporate Circus?

 When the terms “close corporation” or “the corporate world” come to mind, one’s mind would normally conjure up images of an extremely professional, safe, clean and organised work environment.

For the purpose of this post, the abbreviation CC shall refer to Corporate Circus.

Instead, those of us that are a part of it, know that this is so far from the truth that if we didn’t see and experience some of the ridiculous situations for ourselves, we would never believe that they actually happen.

A prime example was hearing about an email that was doing the rounds at a Corporate Circus nearby me, stating that staff would be subject to a disciplinary hearing should they not adhere to wearing their name badges and uniforms. What a joke!

When a workplace imposes such pathetic and ridiculous rules and regulations, it gives me the impression that the hierarchy of the CC (corporate circus) obviously don’t have enough work to do. One would wonder if one of their KPA’s would read as follows, “Performance incentive based upon the imposition of pathetic policies and procedures.”

To set up a disciplinary hearing, takes a lot of time and effort. It often involves calling staff members away from other far more important tasks. It wastes a lot of time – time which could be used far more productively elsewhere.

When will the hierarchy of the CC’s realise that a happy and comfortable worker, is a far more productive worker? Name badges and uniform should be reserved for school children. After all, most of us have been subjected to that for the 12 years of our lives that we were in school.

In general, uniforms are the most impractical pieces of attire for the workplace or CC. They are extremely hot in summer, and in winter, you just about freeze your ass(ets) off because you are expected to parade around in nothing but a flimsy polyester covering, all in the name of “keeping up appearances.”

When confronted on the issue of “corporate attire,” the hierarchy of the CC will often use the fast-wearing-thin excuse of, “It helps promote team work.” Uhm, excuse me, but since when did a pair of pants and a shirt help promote team work? The only thing it achieves is having everyone look like little corporate robots, each trying desperately to lay claim to their very own little space of the cube farm.

This may be purely personal opinion, but quite honestly, when I am dealing with a sales person, or anyone who is in uniform at their place of work, it is definitely not their uniform or appearance that is closing the deal. Quite honestly, the guy can be dressed in a pair of plastic flip-flops and a mesh vest for all I care. As long as he displays a courteous attitude, and knows his product, I am happy. To me, it will never be a case of, “He/she isn’t wearing a name badge, so I won’t do business with them.”

Another area of the CC environment that never ceases to amaze me, is that those who seem to work the hardest and keep the company afloat in terms of profit and sales, are often the ones who are remembered the least when it comes to pay rises or upgrading of essential equipment. One particular establishment comes to mind, where the most profitable department in the CC is the one that has the most outdated equipment, ranging from antiquated office chairs that are a death trap to even place your posterior on, to phones that are malfunctioning to the point where the poor sales person has to stick his head under the desk in order to hear the person on the other end of the line! (Yours truly will refrain from commenting as to where that picture was taken).

“All stationery requests, regardless how small, are to be processed on an official order form only.” You’re kidding me? Not…ok then. At the end of the day, it actually costs the company more for the “official order form” than it costs for the red pen that is needed by the staff member. Next point in question – do they think we eat stationery in our spare time? This is a prime example of being penny wise and pound foolish when it comes to cutting costs in a CC. Curb the use of pens, while spending an exorbitant amount on uniforms. Yeah, that makes sense, doesn’t it? Not!

The CC exists for a reason, but to date, I have yet to establish what it may be. Yes, it helps one pay the bills, but at the end of the day, it turns you into a mindless cube farm inhabitant. Is that really what humans were designed for? I think not. We are creatures of creativity, but the CC tends to stifle that to such an extent, that their employees seldom have any energy or sparks of creativity to their names after a day at the farm, or shall we say circus.

I for one, know that, while I may still be a part of the CC, I am doing my utmost to make sure that it doesn’t suck the life out of me. It isn’t easy, but soon, I will possess the means to be able to walk away from it forever.

Thoughts? Comments? Feedback?

The Consumer strikes back

How many of us have been coerced into paying for products or services that we didn’t really want, or that were unsuitable for us? I’m sure almost every one of you raised at least one hand in answer to that.

Those sneaky timeshare sales people, the pushy sales person in the store that has a target to meet, or that pesky car sales person that possesses levels of tenacity superior to that of Attila the Hun. All of them have been preying on innocent consumers for far too long, because the general attitude towards as us consumers has been, “You’ve signed on the dotted line, so now it’s your problem, and you’re stuck with the goods/service, even if you don’t really want it.”

The 28 April 2010 sees a New Consumer Protection Act launching in South Africa, which will protect the rights of consumers in such situations. The second phase of the Act will come into being from 28 October 2010.

No longer will airlines in South Africa be able to cancel flights for no reason. If a consumer has paid for a service, or a flight in this case, the flight will have to take off, whether there is only one passenger on the flight or not.

Contracts and timeshare will be entitled to a cooling off period of five days. In this time, should the consumer decide that they no longer want the service or product, they will be entitled to cancel the deal. Any money paid will have to then be refunded to them within a maximum of 15 working days.

Consumers will also be protected against defective and dangerous merchandise, as well as foodstuffs. Should a product cause injury or death to a consumer, the consumer or their loved ones will then be able to hold the supplier of the defective goods liable for any damages incurred.

It’s about time that the rights of consumers were heard in South Africa. A bill like this has been needed for a long time already. Although, one can only hope that people will utilise their common sense and not try to turn South Africans into a bunch of spineless, whiny individuals who go around filing lawsuits after burning themselves on a cup of coffee, because they failed to read the warning printed on the bottom of the coffee cup that states, “Caution: Contents may become hot after heating.”

Thoughts? Views? Feel free to comment.

First prize for multi tasking goes to…

Working at a motor dealership has it’s advantages. One of them being that there is never a shortage of entertainment resulting from “intellectually challenged” customers.

One such example was a young woman, probably around her mid twenties, who arrived at our workshop with a rather unusual complaint/request. She stated that the drivers’ seat of her vehicle appeared to me making a rather unusual noise. When questioned further, she stated that the noise was a ‘grrr’ noise, and that it definitely seemed to be coming from the drivers’ seat of her vehicle.

Not leaving anything to chance, our ever helpful technicians took the vehicle through to the workshop, where they did a thorough inspection underneath after hoisting it up. Not finding anything there, one of them had the presence of mind to search under the seat in question…

What he found there, was nothing short of a vibrator, that had unwittingly managed to find it’s way under the seat, but more strangely, it had ‘somehow’ managed to turn itself on! Meanwhile, the customer in question was anxiously awaiting feedback regarding her apparently noisy seat, in the public reception area of the workshop.

Upon the technician locating the cause of the noise, he simply removed the ‘offending item’ from under the seat, and calmly walked into the reception area, sporting a grin similar to that of a cat who has been given access to the canary as well as the cream. He handed the ’cause of the noise’ to the customer, and said to her, “Here we go ma’am, I think we have solved the problem. This was under the seat.”

To say that a blush crept upon her from the neck up, would have been a very mild understatement. One would wonder…why she doesn’t seem to have made another appearance in the vicinity recently…

Have any funny or outrageous things happened at your workplace lately? Post replies or anecdotes.